Life With The Avengers
by IronCladGod
Summary: Loki's now living with Tony and the rest of the Avengers, so this a collection of one shots about his adventures with them. Most are pretty fluffy, and humourous. This is NOT a sequel for Expecting The Unexpected. Rated T because I'm paranoid and Tony and Clint swear too much.
1. Chapter 1

**Well, I've started on another fic. This was meant to be a sequel to Expecting The Unexpected, but I couldn't wait, so this is a collection of one shots. I've got a few already written, and they're so much fun to do. Apologies in advance for the amount of Clint in these. I can't help it, and he's a lot of fun to write for. Anyway, enjoy!**

Tony walked into the kitchen, stretching, ignoring the aches all over his body. He padded over to the coffee machine, whilst glancing around to what he had that didn't involve any effort. Eventually, his eyes fell on an apple. Not what he'd consider a usual breakfast, but it was quick and simple.

"Morning," came a voice from the table. Tony jumped, his eyes falling on Clint, who'd been sitting at the table. He was smirking, and looking oddly pleased for 7 in the morning.

"What's got you in a good mood?" Tony raised an eyebrow. Out of all the Avengers, Clint was worst when it came to mornings. Tony blamed it on having to wake up next to Natasha every morning, but he'd decided that thought would be best kept to himself. He'd had to deal with a very angry Natasha more times than he cared to remember.

"Oh nothing, really. I'm guessing you're in a good mood though."

"What do you mean?"

"After last night."

Realisation hit Tony like a tone of bricks. Of course. Clint (and probably everyone else) had heard him and Loki last night. It wasn't really a big deal, it wasn't the first and wouldn't be the last time, but Loki preferred their sex life to remain private. Or as private as it could be, living with a bunch of the nosiest people Tony had ever met.

"So how was it?" Clint asked. He had a shit-eating grin, but Tony was determined not to let him win. He took a bite of his apple, contemplating how best to attack.

"It was fabulous, thank you, Barton."

Tony's jaw dropped. He began to choke on his apple, doubling over and coughing. A certain god of mischief had just wandered into the kitchen, wearing nothing but a pair of boxers. To be more specific, Tony's boxers.

Recovering from his coughing fit, Tony sipped his coffee, struggling to keep a straight face. "Loki's right. It was possibly the best sex I've ever had."

"The best, huh?" Loki walked over to Tony, pressing against him and tracing his jawline.

"Definitely," Tony confirmed hoarsely.

"Maybe if you're good, we can have another round tonight," crooned Loki.

Tony just moaned, reacting to Loki's cool fingers slipping under his shirt.

"Stop! Stop! You win, alright? Holy shit! I just wanted to mess with you a bit, not get fucking details on tonight's plans," Clint howled, looking slightly green.

"If you didn't want to know, you shouldn't have asked," Tony called out, wrapping his arm around Loki's waist.

"Jesus Christ. You guys take jokes too far," Clint mumbled, storming off, abandoning his cornflakes.

Tony and Loki exchanged glances, then dissolved into fits of laughter.

"Fucking hell. That was... perfect!," wheezed Tony, gripping Loki's arm tightly.

"I'm the god of mischief, Stark. Barton is too easy to fool. I couldn't resist."

Tony pulled Loki in for a kiss, a grin still fixed on his face. The kiss soon turned into a full-out make out session in the kitchen. Loki was grinding slowly against Tony's crotch, eliciting moans from the genius.

Loki's lips moved to Tony's earlobe, launching an attack on the tender skin.

"Shit," he breathed, threading his fingers through Loki's hair.

From the doorway, there came a sound of someone clearing their throat. The two men sprang apart awkwardly, their eyes falling on Steve. The soldier was looking down awkwardly, a blush creeping across his cheeks.

"Sorry, Steve," mumbled Tony, rubbing the back of his neck.

"No, it's fine. I shouldn't have... I should have waited or something."

Loki looked bemused, and Tony elbowed him in the ribs, shooting him a glare.

"This is the kitchen, how were you supposed to know that I was here with Loki. Anyway, you can get on with whatever you wanted to do." he tugged Loki's hand, walking out of the room.

"That was unusually polite," Loki said, once they were out if earshot of Steve.

"Well, I thought I should try and salvage what's left of his innocence, what with our night time activities being louder than I thought."

"How considerate of you. But those night activities don't just have to be at night," Loki purred, his hands roaming over Tony's clothed chest.

Within seconds, they were in the bedroom, and Tony sent out a silent thank you that Loki was able to teleport.


	2. Chapter 2

**Did everyone enjoy the first one shot? I hope you did, because here's another. I got this idea from thinking of some of the milder things Loki could do to cause mischief. Yet again, more Clint. I promise the next one has everyone.**

"I think you should try bonding with everyone."

It was late Friday night, and Tony was cuddling with Loki after having an amazing round if sex in positions he didn't even know existed. The words just slipped out without much thought, but he'd said them, so the thought was planted.

"How do you mean?" Loki asked, turning to face him.

"Well, you've been living here for ages, and you're not exactly on the best terms with everyone. Maybe you should try doing something with each of them to prove you've changed."

"I could try that," Loki said thoughtfully, his brow creasing. "What would you suggest?"

"Well, I think Clint needs working on before he can accept the fact you're here. How about you offer to do target practice with him?" Tony shrugged, almost wishing he'd never said anything.

"You know, I'll do that tomorrow. I'll speak to Barton and see if he's willing," Loki decided. "Until then, let's sleep."

He curled his arms around Tony's waist, resting his head in the crook of the man's neck.

"Good morning, Barton," said Loki, sitting next to Clint on the sofa.

He said nothing, just looked at Loki suspiciously.

"I'm not going to attack you. I was merely wondering if you'd want to do some target practice. Stark mentioned you were looking for someone to practice with."

Clint sat, torn between desire to practice, and distrust for Loki. "Yeah, I'd be up for that," he said finally.

"Excellent. Shall we go to the training room?"

"Umm, sure. Just let me get my bow and arrows." Clint stood, utterly surprised by Loki's eagerness to help him. "Meet you there in 10?"

Loki nodded, satisfied with himself.

"So, I just need you to keep these targets moving," Clint said uncomfortably, 10 minutes later.

"I'm sure I can do that," Loki stepped over to the targets, examaning them. They began to move, seemingly of their own accord, but Clint remembered Loki's magic. Shaking off the feeling of unease, he took aim and fired.

There was a familiar hiss, and Clint waited expectantly for the 'thwunk' that would mean he'd hit his mark. Only it never came. When he looked around, it was to see his arrow sticking out of the wall at the back of the room. Confused, he fired at another of the targets. Yet again, he missed. Again and again, he kept firing and missing. His confusion was soon replaced with fury. He was Hawkeye for gods sake, he never missed! At least, not until today.

When down to his last arrow, Clint made sure his aim was perfect, and when he fired, his eyes never left the arrow. With a jolt, he realised what was wrong. For less than a second, the target disappeared. It gave just enough chance for the arrow to go sailing through where the target should have been, then it would reappear. "Son of a bitch," Clint muttered. He turned to Loki, who was evidently trying to hide a grin. "I'm not fucking practicing with you again, asshole," he yelled, collecting his arrows.

Loki couldn't help himself, he began to laugh in earnest, his whole body shaking. The sound echoed around the room, filling every inch with the beautiful sounds of mischief.

"It's really not that funny, dude," Clint said, quieter than before.

"Oh, but you see it is. I can't believe it took you so long to realise what I was doing," Loki wheezed.

Shaking his head, Clint walked away.

"Stark, your boyfriend's an ass hole," Clint stated casually, leaning back in his chair.

"What?"

"I'm not practicing with him ever again."

"Why? He was trying to be nice."

"Nice? He used his goddamn magic to screw with the targets. Is that nice?" Clint demanded.

"Loki," Tony shouted. "Can you come in here for a moment?"

Loki walked in, sitting on Tony's lap.

"What did you do to Clint?"

Loki recounted his little trick, watching as the assassins' face grew stonier and stonier.

"Ok, that is pretty funny," Tony admitted.

"What?" Clint howled. "You should be defending me!"

"I think you're mistaking me for Natasha," the genius smirked.

"Fuck off," retorted Clint, storming off with his middle finger in the air.

"That was brilliant," Tony snorted, once he knew he was at no risk of being overheard.

"I know," sniggered Loki, kissing Tony.


	3. Chapter 3

**This is my favourite one shot so far. I had so much fun writing this, and it was great including everyone (even Peter Parker). I really hope everyone else enjoys this as much as I did. **

"It's our week off, I think we deserve a holiday," Tony said, looking around at his friends, plus Loki (who was still refusing to officially join the Avengers) and Peter Parker. The kid was running some trials with SHIELD to see if he was fit to join the Avengers.

"A holiday? Where?" Natasha asked, glancing up from her magazine.

"California. The weather's better, and I need to check up on my house there."

"Where is this 'California' you speak of?" boomed Thor.

No one answered him, they were all considering Tony's idea.

"I reckon we deserve a break," said Clint, finally. "And your boyfriend could do with some sun. He's like a vampire."

"Barton, please do not compare me to those horrible Midgardian creatures," Loki scowled.

"You are a bit pale, babe," Tony admitted, but proceeded to cower under the look Loki gave him.

"Bruce, what do you think about going on holiday. You haven't said anything yet," Natasha looked kindly at Bruce, who'd so far been keeping quiet.

"Well, I guess it couldn't do any harm," he said slowly.

"Good! So we're going on holiday. Start packing everyone!" Tony exclaimed, clapping his hands together.

"Son of Howard, what do I need for this holiday?" yelled Thor as Tony ran past his room, clutching a pile of towels. He stopped, backtracking.

"You need shorts, shirts, underwear, sunscreen, sunglasses, all that kind of stuff," Tony fired off quickly, throwing a towel at Thor, and leaving him more confused than ever.

2 hours later, the Avengers and friends were standing by one of Tonys' cars, luggage in hand.

"Tony, where are we all sitting?" Bruce asked.

"That's a very good question," he replied. "There's 8 of us, and there's no way in hell I'm letting anyone drive my car, so I'm driving."

"Dibs on passenger seat," Loki said quickly.

"Who taught you dibs?" Tony asked, staring at Loki, who looked guiltily at Clint.

"I would like a seat next to the transparent glass so I can admire your Midgardian landscape," Thor said loudly.

"Fine. Loki's got passenger seat, Thor a window. Who's next?"

"Dibs on not sitting next to Thor!" Clint yelled. Thor was notorious for elbowing people when he got excited. "Hey Tasha, why don't you sit on me?"

"If I must," sighed Natasha.

"I'm not sitting on anyone," Bruce said.

"Probably a good idea. So Steve, are you sitting on Thor or Bruce?" Tony asked, turning to the soldier.

"Hang on, why don't I get a choice? And why's no one sitting on Loki?" Peter demanded, looking grumpy.

"You're a kid. You get what's given to you. And Loki's safe because I don't much fancy whatever punishment I'd get if I put someone on his lap," Tony answered. "So Capsicle, who are you sitting on?"

"The soldier may sit with me," Thor announced, grinning broadly at Steve, who smiled weakly back.

"Right then. Webby, you're sitting on Bruce then. Everyone in!" Tony ordered, opening the doors.

He shoved all the bags into the boot, watched with amusement as everyone attempted to get in and get comfortable, then got in himself.

They drove in silence for a while, the only sound rustling as people tried to find a better position.

"I need some music," Tony said, fiddling with the radio.

"Tony, can we put on..." Peter began, but was interrupted with "No. My car, my music."

Peter crossed his arms, put his head down and sulked.

"Jesus, will you cheer up?" Bruce demanded. "You're giving off so many negative vibes I swear the Other Guy's going to make an appearance."

"No, no, no," everyone yelled, turning to glare at Peter.

"Listen, Spider Boy, if you cause the Other Guy to come out and play in my car, I will kill you," Tony threatened, turning his attention back to the radio. "Loki, could you please try and find me a rock station?" he asked.

Loki nodded, and took over the controls.

"Damn machine!" he yelled, hammering on the buttons. "I can't work this infernal thing!"

"Tony, why the fuck are we listening to Skrillex?" Clint asked, leaning over Natasha's shoulder to look at the radio screen.

"I don't know," he snapped, trying to change the station. "Loki, I think you jammed the button," he said.

Thor was frowning. "Captain, what is this music?"

"I don't know. Tony, can we please switch it off?" Steve pleaded, covering his ears.

"I can't! The damn thing's broken."

Complaints filled the car from everyone but Peter, who was happily bobbing his head.

"WILL YOU ALL SHUT UP!" Tony roared. "Somehow, my boyfriend managed to break this stupid thing, so we need to just get on with it."

"Thanks, darling," Loki hissed. "Blame me, why don't you?"

"Well it is your fault," Clint pointed out fairly.

"Barton, shut up!" Tony and Loki yelled together.

Everyone fell into a rather disgruntled silence, all with scowls planted on their faces.

"Tasha, will you stop moving around?" Clint asked, shifting uncomfortably.

"You were the one who wanted me to sit here," she retorted.

"I wasn't expecting you to fidget the whole time!"

"Serves you right. Shouldn't have asked me if you're just going to complain."

"Oh my God, be quiet! We've been in the car half an hour, and we've got a hell of a lot further to go. If you don't stop bickering, you can walk there," Tony barked, whipping round to glare at both Clint and Natasha.

"Tony..." Steve began.

"Don't even start. No, I won't stop 'using the Lord's name in vain', or whatever crap you say."

"Brother! This is my hammer song!" Thor exclaimed as the song changed.

"I'm not your brother," Loki replied quietly.

"Oh crap," Clint muttered. Sure enough, U Can't Touch This was now playing.

A few months ago, Tony decided Thor needed to be educated in music, and thought that MC Hammer would be a good choice, just to take the piss out of mjölnir. When Fury tried hacking into Jarvis' system to announce something, he screwed everything up and the song was stuck on reply, full blast, for a whole week. As a result, everyone knew the lyrics.

All enmity forgotten, the whole group began rapping at the top of their lungs, Thor's voice booming over the top. Even Peter was joining in, despite his protests that anything released before 2005 was 'ancient'.

As the song faded out, the group fell into fits of laughter.

"Ah, shitty hip hop music. Makes everything better," Tony sighed.

But it wasn't long until another argument broke out.

Thor was getting overexcited at a massive flock of birds flying past the car, and elbowing Bruce in an attempt to point them all out to Steve. Bruce had his eyes closed, fists clenched. It was Loki who noticed, and tapped Tony on the shoulder to tell him.

"Tony, I think we're about to have a problem if we don't calm Thor down," he murmured, and Tony twisted in his seat, taking in Bruce.

"Thor, stop it! You're elbowing Bruce."

"I'm so sorry, Doctor," the god said kindly, not noticing how close Bruce was to snapping.

He ignored Thor's apology, all his focus on trying to stay calm.

"Hey Webby, use your phone to get some classical music," Tony ordered.

"Use your own phone," replied Peter stubbornly. His mood had turned sour again.

"Look, we don't have enough time for this. Just use your damn phone, unless you want to be a spider pancake on the roof."

Grumbling to himself, Peter grabbed his phone and searched up what everyone knew to be Bruce's favourite classical song. He turned it up, drowning out the radio and held it close to Bruce's ear. Slowly, his breathing went back to normal, his heart beat slowed and his fists unclenched.

"We all good now?" Tony asked expectantly.

Bruce nodded, and everyone cheered.

"I'm ever so sorry," Thor repeated, patting Bruce on the shoulder.

"Just keep your excitement under control," Tony advised.

"How much longer's left?" Clint asked.

"5 minutes," Tony replied, glancing at his watch.

"Hallelujah," he breathed, pressing a sloppy kiss to Natasha's cheek in relief.

The opening bars of Sexy And I Know it started playing, and Tony turned it up, calling out "one more song for the last stretch!"

Yet again, the Avengers and Co. found themselves hollering the lyrics to LMFAO with the windows down.

"And we have arrived!" Tony yelled, pulling up outside his massive Californian house.

With relief, everyone piled out, with Clint collapsing and kissing the ground. "I'm free!" he squealed, spreading out across the grass, basking in the sunlight.

"Tony Stark, you were correct. The weather here is glorious," Thor smiled, pulling Tony into one of his bone crushing hugs.

"Well done," Loki whispered, wrapping one of his arms around Tony's waist. "Maybe this was a good idea."


	4. Chapter 4

**Ehh, I'm not sure about this one. At first, I liked it, but now I'm not so sure. Oh well. Let me know what you think. **

"Hey Loki, I wanna show you something," Peter said, bounding into room excitedly.

"What is it child?" Loki responded, turning his attention away from threading his fingers through Tony's hair. The man whined slightly at the absence of his fingers, Loki whacking his arm gently.

"I'm not a kid, I'm a teenager. And I want to show you my skateboard."

"No way, Web Head," Tony said firmly. The memory of when he tried Loki on ice skating was still fresh in his mind. Let's just say that for a God, he was incredibly unsteady on his feet.

"Anthony, please don't answer for me. Peter, yes, I'll come with you."

"Awesome! There's a super cool skate park about 15 minutes away, we can go there. I've got another board you can use. But you might wanna get changed first," Peter said, eyeing Loki's traditional Asgardian armour. For some reason, he still refused to take it off most of the time.

"What's wrong with what I'm currently wearing?" he asked, puzzled.

"Babe, remember, human's don't wear armour. You need to blend in," Tony reminded him softly.

"Oh. What should I wear then?"

"I'll help you."

"Meet you back here in half an hour?" Peter asked. Loki nodded, and went off to the bedroom, Tony trailing behind him.

"I don't like this idea," Tony said, examining his wardrobe for something that might fit Loki.

"Anthony, you're not my mother. Please stop worrying," Loki replied.

"Why are you calling me Anthony?"

"Because I want to. _Anthony_," he said, letting it roll off his tongue, tasting it.

"Whatever. Try these," Tony threw down some clothes, sitting down to watch Loki.

5 minutes later, he was dressed in a pair of black jeans, a long sleeved black shirt, a green v neck and a leather jacket.

"You look incredibly sexy," Tony purred, kissing Loki's neck.

"Not now. I only just got dressed. Wait a few hours until I take it all off again."

"Fine," pouted Tony.

"Hey, don't sulk. I won't be gone long," Loki said.

"Looking good, Loki," Peter called as Loki walked in.

"Oi Spider Boy, he's mine. And make sure you return him in one piece," Tony warned, drawing Loki closer to him.

"Anthony, I'm not 'yours'. I don't belong to you."

"My name is TONY! T-O-N-Y. _Tony_."

"Whatever you say, Anthony," Loki smirked, kissing him.

"Ready to go?" Peter asked hopefully, after miming puking.

"Yes. Good bye, Anthony. I love you," Loki said over his shoulder, following Peter.

"Love you too," Tony said quietly, watching him go.

"Here's your board," Peter said, passing Loki a black and green checkered board. "Have you ridden before?"

"No, I've never used these 'skateboards'."

"Well, I use my right foot to push off, and you need to keep building speed with that foot too, unless you're going down a hill or something. You bend your knees a bit so you can keep balanced, and to jump, you kind of flick your feet up. It's hard to explain," Peter said, demonstrating as he went.

"Okay," Loki nodded slowly, attempted to copy the teenager.

"Not bad, bro!" Peter exclaimed, holding up his hand for a a high five. Loki stared at it, and he put his hand down, remembering the God wasn't quite aware of all 'Midgardian things' yet.

"Shall we go?" he asked.

"Yes."

Once on the road, Peter pushed off, quickly building up more speed. Somehow, Loki managed to keep up with him, a rather impressive feat considering his non-existent ice skating skills.

"How you going?" Peter shouted out behind him other the wind.

"Not too bad. This is almost enjoyable."

"_Almost_? This is awesome!"

Despite his protests, Loki was having fun. It was nice to do something human, even though he kept getting funny looks for being an adult on a skateboard.

"Hey, here's the park," Peter yelled, pointing at the large concrete mass of ramps.

Cautiously, Loki skated up to one of the ramps, and looked up at it.

"Go ahead," Peter said encouragingly.

To Loki's utter surprise, he managed to go down the ramp without falling off.

"Well done, man!" Peter cheered, grabbing his phone to record a video to show Tony when they got back. "Do it again! Try jumping too."

Confidence boosted, Loki set off again, and jumped.

There was less than a second when he realised there was something wrong. He knew he was overbalancing, but didn't know how to stop. Arms flailing wildly, he tried to rebalance, but to no avail. Loki fell, his head banging against the cold, hard concrete, and his limbs splaying out awkwardly.

"Oh my god, are you okay?" Peter asked frantically, running over. The god just moaned in pain, unable to move.

"Shit. Please tell me you're okay. Stark's going to kill me!"

"Yes, I think he will. Can you call him on that cell phone of yours?" Loki asked, gritting his teeth.

"Hello?" Tony said, picking up his phone.

"Stark, oh my god, I'm so sorry. Loki's hurt, and-"

"What?" he demanded sharply. "Loki's hurt? What happened to him?"

"He fell, and he might've broken something, and I don't know what to do!" Peter gabbled urgently.

"Shut up. I'm coming now. You better hope for your sake that he's fine," Tony snarled, cutting the teenager off. He raced down to his garage, and drove to the skate park, breaking about 6 speed limits as he went. The only thing he could think about was Loki, though. His mind kept constructing mad scenes of what could be happening.

Tony arrived at the park, flying out of his car and running over to Loki, who was still lying on the ramp.

"Get out of the way," he snapped, pushing Peter away. "Loki, are you okay?"

"Not exactly," he replied weakly.

"Shit. Where does it hurt?"

"Do you want me to answer that?"

"Don't play games, Loki."

"Everywhere. I think I've broken something."

"Fuck. Can you heal yourself or something?"

"Maybe," Loki murmured. "Let me try."

He closed his eyes, and a look of intense concentration took over his features.

Tony swore he heard cracking coming from some of Loki's bones that were knitting back together, and he saw small smears of blood receding. Loki's eyes snapped open, and he sat up, wincing slightly.

"Are you okay?" Tony asked again.

"Better. A bit sore, but I think I'm fine," Loki told him.

"Please don't ever do that to me again," Tony said, pulling him in for a hug.

"And you," he said furiously, rounding on Peter. "You are never taking my boyfriend anywhere ever again. I can't trust you with anything, you idiot."

"Sorry," muttered Peter, cowering slightly.

"Sorry's not enough, ass hole. You better start groveling, because I'm not letting this slide," Tony growled.

Peter grabbed his board and left, before he could yelled at more.

"Come on, babe. Let's go home," Tony said, his voice soft again.

"Anthony, please don't use those horrible Midgardian names with me," Loki berated.

"Sorry, _honey_," Tony smirked.

"Shut up."


	5. Chapter 5

**I'm sorry. That's all I can say. Not only have I not updated lately, but this a Halloween one shot a week late. It's so short I don't know why I bothered. But I'm going to finish my rambling so you can form your own opinion. **

"It's Halloween tomorrow," Tony said conversationally, looking over at Loki.

"Halloween?"

"It's this awesome holiday where you go round to people's houses, knock on the door, say trick or treat and they give you candy. If they don't, you trick them somehow."

"Sounds... unusual," Loki said, trying to hide his interest. "What is the age of people who normally participate in this activity?"

"Usually kids. Do you want to do it?" Tony asked, amused.

"No," he replied, a little too quickly.

"We can if you want."

"No, I'm sure. However, the trick part sounds fun."

"What about we trick everyone in the house?" Tony suggested deviously.

"Trick all your friends? Isn't that a little cruel?" Loki said.

"If you don't want to, we don't have to," Tony said quickly.

"Anthony, for such an intelligent man, you really can be rather idiotic sometimes. Of course I want to do it. I'm the god of mischief and chaos. What type of god would I be if I turned down the opportunity to cause mischief?" he laughed. "Have you got any ideas?"

"Just a few," Tony smirked.

On Halloween morning, Bruce woke up to find all of his furniture (except his bed) stuck to the ceiling. Pinned to his chair was a note in neat, slanting writing saying 'Happy Halloween'.

In the kitchen, Tony and Loki began to laugh as they heard Bruce's roar of rage.

"How was your mission?" Tony asked, sitting down next to Clint.

"Tiring. Boring. The usual," he shrugged, standing up. "If Natasha asks where I am, tell her I don't want to be disturbed. I need a long, hot shower."

"Tony, you bastard!" Clint screeched, skidding into the living room with droplets of water clinging to his torso, a towel hanging around his hips and his hair bright pink.

"Happy Halloween," was the reply he got from the genius, who was trying to hide his grin.

"Brother, the toaster is smoking!" Thor yelled, staring at the toaster, that sure enough, had smoke rising from it.

Instead of Loki responding, Tony came skidding into the room. "Thor, what the hell have you done? I thought you'd learnt how to use the toaster."

"Son of Howard, I thought I did too! I don't know what is happening."

Tony popped up the Pop Tarts, to reveal an unrecognisable black object. "Thor, you idiot! This is cardboard. How the fuck did you think this was a Pop Tart?"

"Cardboard? But I do not understand."

Sighing, Tony threw the pieces of card in the bin, tossing Thor a real packet of Pop Tarts.

Scrawled across the side was the words 'Happy Halloween'.

"What the hell were you two playing at?" Clint demanded, walking up to Tony and Loki, Bruce and Thor on either side of him.

"What's going on?" Natasha asked, looking up from her magazine.

"Oh, nothing. We just played a couple of pranks on these guys for Halloween," Tony replied, waving a hand airily.

"And why did Steve and I miss out on this?"

"I didn't fancy pissing you off, and our innocent little Capsicle is like a puppy. It felt too cruel pranking him."

Natasha nodded. "Whatever. Clint, pink hair suits you. I'd definitely put a picture on the internet."

"Shut up, Tasha," he growled, glaring at Tony and Loki.

"It was all harmless fun. Get over it, Barton," Loki said, rolling his eyes.

"No! I've got fucking pink hair because of you!" he howled, clutching the bubblegum pink strands.

"Should've checked your shampoo first," Tony told him matter-of-factly.

"Shut up, you fucker!"

"I think it looks quite nice," Steve muttered.


	6. Chapter 6

**Yet again, I'm sorry. I haven't updated in so long, and this is terrible. I've had the idea since September, and now it justtame out horrendous. I'm so disappointed. I'm really not in the Christmas spirit right now, but anyway, enjoy this short pile if absolute crap. **

"Anthony, _why_ are you jumping up and down like an excitable child?" Loki asked, glancing up from his book.

"It's December!"

"Your point being?"

"It's coming up to Christmas!" Tony exclaimed, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world (well, it is, just not to Loki).

"What's..." Loki began, curiously burning through his emerald eyes.

"It's an annual celebration where you give people presents, stuff your face with food and do nothing else. I mean, there are some people who believe in the 'religious' side of it, but that's a load of bull if you ask me."

"You Midgardians have a lot of holidays. First Halloween, now Christmas," Loki said.

"Wait till we get to Easter. That's one of the best ones."

"So what other traditions are there at Christmas?" he asked, ignoring the thought of Easter.

Tony proceeded to explain all the various aspects of Christmas, enjoying the childlike fascination Loki had in it. He wasn't too sure, but he thought he saw a mischievous glint in the god's eyes at the mention of mistletoe.

Everyone came together to decorate the mansion, with a ginormous tree in the living room, fake snow sprinkled across the floors and mistletoe hung at intervals. They all felt rather proud of themselves for getting such an effective result. Even Natasha was seen smiling as they admired the 8 foot tree.

"You know how ridiculous I feel next to this tree?" Tony muttered, feeling dwarfed by its immense size.

"No idea, you're the only hobbit in the house," Clint smirked, earning a bauble chucked at his head.

The Avengers were all feeling considerably festive, and the mood in the house had been lightened, partially from the Christmas songs JARVIS had been programmed to broadcast over the house. The only disgruntlement was that many of them were being forced to kiss certain team members at random points of the day due to the sleighs of mistletoe. Tony rather enjoyed the fact that he was able to watch it all back through the security footage. Possibly the most amassing thing of all was Steve and Thor. Tony had promptly fallen off his chair after witnessing the god and the soldier together.

Tony had also noticed that the mistletoe tended to pop up whenever he walked by Loki in the halls. The first few times, he brushed it off as coincidence, but it soon became clear that wasn't the case.

"Loki, can I ask you something?" Tony asked, sitting down on the bed.

"Hmm?"

"Are you messing with the mistletoe?"

"What would make you think that?" Loki replied, feigning innocence.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, but the fact that every time I see you there's mistletoe somewhere is starting to get a little suspicious."

Smirking slightly, Loki directed his gaze to the ceiling, where another sprig had appeared in the corner, conforming what Tony had suspected.

"Shut up, Anthony," he said softly, leaning in to capture his lips in a passionate kiss.


End file.
